History of the Body: Thoughts and Reflections

As a birth doula and post partum doula in training, I've come to believe that the body is a site of redemption and a site of powerful remembering. Women's bodies provide the sacred function of birth and thus, become doorways for the reconciliation of past, present, and future. Ancestor and future ancestors meet, I believe in the birthing woman. Generations are fed when she nurses.  

It is with this awareness, that I walked into the powerful production of History of the Body this past weekend. Having just been present to the first days of my friend's first moments with her newborn, this was on my mind. Watching Mama Jo (as I affectionately call her) pump milk, breast feed, and diaper an infant, I was overcome by the cellular memory of what actual human output it takes to reproduce a child day to day. And in holding this new life,  I was overtaken by the perfection and the promise of who we all are-just by simply being ourselves. 

It was a humbling. My friend's mother called the act of mothering, masarap na masakit. (a delicious pain or agony)  In watching my sistah-friend come to embrace this with her child and thus herself, it was truly healing.  I was healed. Her resilience and determination to love her baby in that full feeling of pain of after-birth, healed me.

That said, the History of the Body asks us also to engage in something similar:  remember the damage and wounding in our skins-feel the hurt, and choose love anyway.  For the sake of ancestors, name the forgetting and erasure of wholeness that occurs instantaneously once a child leaves the womb. Name the violence. Bemoan just how long this colonial legacy of inherited self-hatred is. And then remember-- empire does not need to strike back-because we can choose to do the damage to ourselves and each other with a hateful, silent glance or an omission of praise.

Set in part at the beauty salon, the History of the Body ensemble points to the source of the messages that empower that gaze and withholding. The production's dance movement allow us to re-visit the norms of whiteness rooted in justifying colonial occupation and beauty that still haunt the most enlightened of us. The amplified personal narratives and historical caricatures projected onto screen allow us to see and hear ideas of who are lovable, who are worth loving, and who are allowed to love out in public.   With all the popularized self-help out there, one has to ask critically, "Why and how does this still get to prevail?"

It is clear that the powerful Pinays  in the production understand the deeper logic of this mind trip and they understand the critical importance of flipping the script, turning the discourse around, and telling a counter-narrative.  It is this promise of History of Body that excites me the most. You see this most clearly in the ensemble's efforts to retell the turn of the century St. Louis World's Fair and colonial display of Filipinos from "civilized" to "savage". This re-telling is one that I hope the production will explore further as it attempts to de-construct the body, and the idea of the Philippine nation itself.

Lastly, the themes of celebrating eros and coming into the pleasure that the body gives-I believe is just under the surface of the piece. Something fellow kasama and audience member, Melanie Medalle, noticed. I believe, ultimately, that story is one of the most important promises of decolonization and one that many ache for to be publicly told in a profound piece like History of the Body. I long for this story:   the Filipino body that can love without the specter of a judging gaze, but can remember just really how strong and powerful it really is-at home in its own skin and with others in community. That is something worth dancing, singing, and creating for. That is what is worth hoping for, and for all the newborns who come now into this world.

Kudos again to the cast and crew of The History of the Body. Looking forward to future versions of this important work in progress!