Let's talk about "it"
My play, My Body-My Space has begun to have a life of its own. Every morning now, I am spending time with two teen girls and two adult mother/auntie characters who are navigating the passage from adolescence to adulthood. The characters lived outside me for so long as a project, but as I myself have delved deeper into understanding my own coming of age and my own sexual awakening, I am even more vested in a creating a story that will help all of us-mothers, daughters, aunties, grandmas- make the journey in a mindful and responsible manner.
The play is still in draft form, however, it was great to have a moment today with the director-Karen Loebel and to have her hear what I am trying to convey. What I so appreciate about Karen is that she is both an actress, director, and a public health worker who has served in the Kalihi area and across Hawaii. And because of her work, she understands the delicate line of conveying public health messages and reflecting a story that renders the reality of local communities.
As I explained to Karen, the characters in My Body-My Space embody a common tension that exists between most mothers and daughters around blossoming adolescent sexuality. Mothers see their daughters' bodies changing. They see them talking and flirting. And they are just not sure what to do or how to address it--except to clamp down with restrictions and sanctions. As the playwright, I want to give voice to this immense fear, understandable caution, and legitimate concern that surrounds a teen daughter's exploration. Amidst the morass of sexually transmitted diseases and threat of intimate partner violence, mothers are often torn. And for some, because of saving face and rigid cultural mores, it easier to not talk about "it" at all.
In my research, I started gathering mother-daughter stories in communities most familiar to me. I started talking to friends from the Urban Babaylan circle and the Pinay Vagina Monolouges cast. This past Sunday, I inquired with some aunties at a Honolulu-BIBAK meeting. Do they have they "birds and the bees talk", I asked?
"No." was the definitive and sure answer.
Instantly, I was carried back in time, there with my own mother and facing the same generational gaps, morality walls, and double gender standards that keep us apart. But the main difference was that I was having this conversation as a 36 year old mother of a seven year old girl. Instead of being the rebellious teen, I was more empathetic and connected to my aunties' and mom's fears. And because of life experience, I am very vested in getting all the hidden truth out that will help girls understand their historical legacy of shame that may keep them from repeating the self hating patterns of internalized oppression.
In this same vein, I am also concerned about the harmful, fear based, unscientific messaging about reproductive health out there that pervades our psyche. I am concerned how daughters hear this loud and clear and just cease mother/daughter communications all together. As I develop this play further, I am concerned about how best to respectfully engage my mother's and auntie's perspectives. And how to balance that with a perspective that gives our daughters' the age appropriate information so that they will understand the pleasure and power in their bodies as well as the responsibility that comes with it.
As I was blog surfing, I found this article published on the Philippine Center for Investigative journalism's site about new reproductive health codes and sex education efforts being established in the Cordillera which give me hope. I am glad that at home in the Philippines, despite feet dragging from the national government, that there are those who want to make sure that the Cordi youth are talking about "it" and getting the accurate information and support they need.
Here in Hawaii, I hope My Body-My Space will be able to open a dialogue so that we may follow suit in a way that makes sense for here.
The play is still in draft form, however, it was great to have a moment today with the director-Karen Loebel and to have her hear what I am trying to convey. What I so appreciate about Karen is that she is both an actress, director, and a public health worker who has served in the Kalihi area and across Hawaii. And because of her work, she understands the delicate line of conveying public health messages and reflecting a story that renders the reality of local communities.
As I explained to Karen, the characters in My Body-My Space embody a common tension that exists between most mothers and daughters around blossoming adolescent sexuality. Mothers see their daughters' bodies changing. They see them talking and flirting. And they are just not sure what to do or how to address it--except to clamp down with restrictions and sanctions. As the playwright, I want to give voice to this immense fear, understandable caution, and legitimate concern that surrounds a teen daughter's exploration. Amidst the morass of sexually transmitted diseases and threat of intimate partner violence, mothers are often torn. And for some, because of saving face and rigid cultural mores, it easier to not talk about "it" at all.
In my research, I started gathering mother-daughter stories in communities most familiar to me. I started talking to friends from the Urban Babaylan circle and the Pinay Vagina Monolouges cast. This past Sunday, I inquired with some aunties at a Honolulu-BIBAK meeting. Do they have they "birds and the bees talk", I asked?
"No." was the definitive and sure answer.
Instantly, I was carried back in time, there with my own mother and facing the same generational gaps, morality walls, and double gender standards that keep us apart. But the main difference was that I was having this conversation as a 36 year old mother of a seven year old girl. Instead of being the rebellious teen, I was more empathetic and connected to my aunties' and mom's fears. And because of life experience, I am very vested in getting all the hidden truth out that will help girls understand their historical legacy of shame that may keep them from repeating the self hating patterns of internalized oppression.
In this same vein, I am also concerned about the harmful, fear based, unscientific messaging about reproductive health out there that pervades our psyche. I am concerned how daughters hear this loud and clear and just cease mother/daughter communications all together. As I develop this play further, I am concerned about how best to respectfully engage my mother's and auntie's perspectives. And how to balance that with a perspective that gives our daughters' the age appropriate information so that they will understand the pleasure and power in their bodies as well as the responsibility that comes with it.
As I was blog surfing, I found this article published on the Philippine Center for Investigative journalism's site about new reproductive health codes and sex education efforts being established in the Cordillera which give me hope. I am glad that at home in the Philippines, despite feet dragging from the national government, that there are those who want to make sure that the Cordi youth are talking about "it" and getting the accurate information and support they need.
Here in Hawaii, I hope My Body-My Space will be able to open a dialogue so that we may follow suit in a way that makes sense for here.
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