Saturday morning pancakes
It is Saturday morning.
Paul-my partner is making pancakes and asks me if I want banannas. He tells me I should blogging about starting a new business and how it is effecting everybody in the family. "Self-empowerment comes with prices," he says.
I agree. Freedom is not free. And I am grateful to have such a supportive husband who gets it. Not a lot men, at least in my experiene, do really get how to love a talented woman with lots on her plate and giving her space and time to shine. It's a spiritual practice of surrendering ego. And it take relinquishing a lot of the traditional western manhood and being able to share your beloved with the rest of the world and her big dreams.
Paul and I have had a lot of practice together over the 10 years. He's been there through some of the craziest events, performances and conferences, I have had to produce and he's backed me up every single time. Through the earlier stages of parenthood, he struggled and grew with me when I thought I would die if our daughter wouldn't ween off at that moment.
I remember when my daughter was 3. I called him after being supported to have some space for self reflection to go to a weekend personal growth seminar.
It felt like a long awaited weekend furlough away from Barney and friends. I didn't want the weekend to end and I wanted to explore further on my own the Grace that was re-emerging. I called Paul, shaking, saying that I needed to leave for a while-to get away do more of this personal work. I know I was asking a lot. But out of his love for me, he said, "Go."
And I did. I will never regret that time that I took for myself. Because I look at the last beautiful 4 years since my initial risk into the unknown, and the amazing things we've created together and apart since then. It hasn't all been easy. We've considered and been open to all the options-gotten the therapy. And still at times, looked at each other and wondered, "Why?". The answer is different in our heads each time: our daughter, the house, our interlocking financial future and security..
But the deeper answer, is that we know we are each other's shadow friend.
We are each other's greatest teacher and greatest lesson in unconditional love.
So when husband, asks me if I want pancakes, I am grateful. Because I know that his daily gifts of support of me come from a long hard work of loving me just as I am.
Paul-my partner is making pancakes and asks me if I want banannas. He tells me I should blogging about starting a new business and how it is effecting everybody in the family. "Self-empowerment comes with prices," he says.
I agree. Freedom is not free. And I am grateful to have such a supportive husband who gets it. Not a lot men, at least in my experiene, do really get how to love a talented woman with lots on her plate and giving her space and time to shine. It's a spiritual practice of surrendering ego. And it take relinquishing a lot of the traditional western manhood and being able to share your beloved with the rest of the world and her big dreams.
Paul and I have had a lot of practice together over the 10 years. He's been there through some of the craziest events, performances and conferences, I have had to produce and he's backed me up every single time. Through the earlier stages of parenthood, he struggled and grew with me when I thought I would die if our daughter wouldn't ween off at that moment.
I remember when my daughter was 3. I called him after being supported to have some space for self reflection to go to a weekend personal growth seminar.
It felt like a long awaited weekend furlough away from Barney and friends. I didn't want the weekend to end and I wanted to explore further on my own the Grace that was re-emerging. I called Paul, shaking, saying that I needed to leave for a while-to get away do more of this personal work. I know I was asking a lot. But out of his love for me, he said, "Go."
And I did. I will never regret that time that I took for myself. Because I look at the last beautiful 4 years since my initial risk into the unknown, and the amazing things we've created together and apart since then. It hasn't all been easy. We've considered and been open to all the options-gotten the therapy. And still at times, looked at each other and wondered, "Why?". The answer is different in our heads each time: our daughter, the house, our interlocking financial future and security..
But the deeper answer, is that we know we are each other's shadow friend.
We are each other's greatest teacher and greatest lesson in unconditional love.
So when husband, asks me if I want pancakes, I am grateful. Because I know that his daily gifts of support of me come from a long hard work of loving me just as I am.
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