Back home in Honolulu
It's been about two weeks since I've returned from vacation in VA and it's taken me a while to finally get present here in Hawaii. Had to take another mini-vacation at home from July 1-4th to celebrate my 34th birthday and de-compress from vacation and the work travel on Kauai last Thursday.
I celebrated on Friday with babaylan-sistah friends and my partner, Paul (the original M -metro-sexual)did my nails. Also did some self-care and went to see an energy healer. I'm feeling tons better! I didn't realize I was holding so much stuff on the right side of my body. It definately is my tendency to get into this groove of favoring action and busy-ness,rather than reflection.
When I got to the healer on Sunday, I told her that I felt like my head was going to fall off from too many thoughts, too many things to be responsible for. She told me that when I move without grounding and spirit, that I tend to overcompensate with my head. And run things from that place rather than from an open heart that is capable of non-judgemental observation.
I was able to release a bit with her, but the next day I was listening to James Earl Jones read Kahil Gibran's piece--On Children. And I fell apart, sobbing in my kitchen. Sobbing for my father, my mother, and me-now the parent/child who now can make different choices. Choices that reflect a love that is based on gentle allowing rather than a love that was bound by basic immigrant survival, martyer-dom and American upper-middle class desire and strivings.
I feel like I've forgiven and released my parents from my resentment. But the imprint never leaves and as my first teachers, it is hard to un-learn their lessons that lodge itself deeply in my body. I know that everything serves me for a greater purpose and as I embark on this new birth year, my birthday wish is for me to enter deep reconcilliation, tie up unfinished business, and embrace my calling and to be sent the teachers, the support and means for healer/counselor training and travel.
So it shall be.
I celebrated on Friday with babaylan-sistah friends and my partner, Paul (the original M -metro-sexual)did my nails. Also did some self-care and went to see an energy healer. I'm feeling tons better! I didn't realize I was holding so much stuff on the right side of my body. It definately is my tendency to get into this groove of favoring action and busy-ness,rather than reflection.
When I got to the healer on Sunday, I told her that I felt like my head was going to fall off from too many thoughts, too many things to be responsible for. She told me that when I move without grounding and spirit, that I tend to overcompensate with my head. And run things from that place rather than from an open heart that is capable of non-judgemental observation.
I was able to release a bit with her, but the next day I was listening to James Earl Jones read Kahil Gibran's piece--On Children. And I fell apart, sobbing in my kitchen. Sobbing for my father, my mother, and me-now the parent/child who now can make different choices. Choices that reflect a love that is based on gentle allowing rather than a love that was bound by basic immigrant survival, martyer-dom and American upper-middle class desire and strivings.
I feel like I've forgiven and released my parents from my resentment. But the imprint never leaves and as my first teachers, it is hard to un-learn their lessons that lodge itself deeply in my body. I know that everything serves me for a greater purpose and as I embark on this new birth year, my birthday wish is for me to enter deep reconcilliation, tie up unfinished business, and embrace my calling and to be sent the teachers, the support and means for healer/counselor training and travel.
So it shall be.
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